enismirdal: (sunset)
[personal profile] enismirdal
Hamsterlessness is a strange state. I keep thinking, "Need to feed Quinine and then I can lock up the back door," but actually, I don't need to feed Quinine and chuck out her old day's food, so could lock up right now... And every time I hear a noise from the corner of the room where the cages used to be, I jump up to say hello, only to realise it's a piece of paper rustling in a draught.

I took Quinine back to the vet yesterday. (Originally, the appointment slot was for Bob, but then she didn't need it, and Quinine had just finished her antibiotics for her chin and still had a big lump there, and was getting even more wobbly, so I asked if they could change the name and use it for Quinine.)

He looked at her, agreed that her legs were getting worse - she'd developed some sort of scoliosis in her spine that meant her tail was twisted and it seemed to have caused her to lose flexion in her back legs, so she'd totter on tiptoe, then overbalance and sprawl on one side. It didn't seem painful, just a bit uncomfortable, but meant getting around was becoming quite an issue for her. He also looked at the abscess and we wondered if there was a tumour underneath and the infection was just secondary (it kept scabbing over nicely but remained huge...). So the tally was bad legs, bad teeth, bad eyelid and weird lump, not to mention possible diabetes.

In general, he didn't think there was much more that could be done for her, and we shared the opinion that with small animals it's kinder to say goodbye a little sooner, while they're still interested in life and food and not obviously suffering, than leave them to decline for another two weeks or so until they're definitely suffering and miserable. So we decided to call it a day for Quinine and I returned home with my bank balance and hamster carrying box both depressingly lighter.

It was the right decision. I don't regret it. She'd had a good life, a decent length and most of it in pretty good health apart from the teeth issues. She went from being a wicked little bitey thing at the start, too fast to handle, to a very easy, calm and pretty bombproof hamster overall. She knew me and always came bouncing to the front of the cage to beg for treats. So she'd done all right for herself, and leaving her any longer would have just been selfish.

But I still hate doing that, deciding that as of now, one of my dear pets' lives stops.

It's doubly weird this time because that's it - no more hamsters till I know where I'll be living for at least 2 years into the future. I have three empty cages, and a weirdly large amount of floor space in my bedroom.

I'm quite sad really. Having no hamsters is no longer a natural state for The Eni.

I guess I'd better find myself a decent-length postdoc contract ASAP...

Date: 11 Mar 2010 21:35 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] silver-trails.livejournal.com
I am sorry. *hugs*

Date: 11 Mar 2010 21:40 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] http://users.livejournal.com/__wilderness__/
Awww Eni, I'm sorry to hear that... both in such a short space of time.

Gonna miss reading about the little furballs

Date: 11 Mar 2010 21:42 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rainien.livejournal.com
Perhaps I missed a post somewhere way back in the beginning of the hamster days. Maybe hamsters are normally sickly creatures. I'll admit I don't know much at all about hamsters. *has aversion to rodent-like creatures* Were you getting the hamsters from some sort of rescue? It just seems that you've had horrible luck with your hamsters.

Sorry to hear about Quinine, though. No matter the size or type of pet, it's horrible when one passes.

Date: 11 Mar 2010 21:53 (UTC)
ext_29926: (DAMO le penseur)
From: [identity profile] joyful-molly.livejournal.com
That's so sad to hear. :-( I can well imagine how empty your place must be; something is missing from your life. And right decisions can still hurt. You gave your hamsters a great life, that's no comfort for you right now, I know, but maybe thinking of the good times will be a little help. Thinking of you. *hugs*

Date: 11 Mar 2010 22:01 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] enismirdal.livejournal.com
Well, a hamster's lifespan is only 2-3 years normally, most pet stock is rather inbred, and once they get sick they're not very good at getting better from it - given that Quinine and Cyanide were both over 2 years old, it's not entirely surprising that they both popped off in a short period.

And yes, I tend to take the odds and ends other people don't want - Rubisco and Baytril were both rescues of unknown breeding, Quinine and Sucrose were from an accidental litter from pet shop hamsters, and Bob/Cyanide was from a good owner, but I have no information on her breeding. So yeah, especially with Baytril and Rubisco, I think the breeding and background made a lot of difference and contributed to them having fairly short lives (about a year for Baytril and about 16 months for Rubisco).

Maybe one day I'll go to a top-notch breeder and get a show-quality hamster to see if they're any different...but I'm a sentimental soul and rather like being the place where waifs and strays find a forever home, even if it runs me up huge vet bills and makes trips away a bit more fiddly!

Date: 11 Mar 2010 22:03 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] enismirdal.livejournal.com
*hugs back* I did my best for them and I think they appreciated it. I'll definitely remember the good times, as there were many! (Can hardly forget, as half my clothes have little nibble-holes in!)

Date: 11 Mar 2010 22:03 (UTC)
ext_36740: (celtic)
From: [identity profile] jaiden-s.livejournal.com
:(

It's hard losing a pet that you love.

Date: 11 Mar 2010 22:04 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] enismirdal.livejournal.com
I'm gonna miss writing about them! But maybe in a year or so I'll have a chance to get some more and then the saga will resume, just with new characters.

Date: 11 Mar 2010 22:08 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] enismirdal.livejournal.com
Yeah...even when it's a scraggy little rodent that weighs just over an ounce! She was small but had a personality bigger than some people I've met.

Date: 11 Mar 2010 22:11 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] enismirdal.livejournal.com
*hugs back* I suppose I'm lucky to have been able to have owned her. She was cool. So was Bob...

Date: 11 Mar 2010 22:12 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] silver-trails.livejournal.com
Yes, and she was lucky to have such a loving owner.

Date: 11 Mar 2010 22:26 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] keiliss.livejournal.com
Sorry, love. I know it's horrid, even when you know it's the right choice.

*hugs you*

Date: 11 Mar 2010 22:28 (UTC)
emperor: (Default)
From: [personal profile] emperor
*hugs* Sounds like you did the right thing, but it's always hard.

Date: 11 Mar 2010 22:28 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] girlofthemirror.livejournal.com
I'm sorry! It's been nice though - I feel like I have got to know your hamsters, I'll miss them too.

Date: 11 Mar 2010 22:35 (UTC)

Date: 11 Mar 2010 23:30 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nienna-weeper.livejournal.com
:(

I'm sorry. It's always hard to lose fur babies no matter how little.

<3

Date: 12 Mar 2010 01:06 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] x19narya90x.livejournal.com
Oh, Eni *hugs* I understand how you feel!

Losing litte fluffs is horrible. I remember when I had to take the decision to put my first French Lop down, I felt terrible. It sounds like you did the right thing though. You're right; you can't be selfish about these things.

Take care.

Date: 12 Mar 2010 02:28 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] silsbee329.livejournal.com
*hugs you*

Date: 12 Mar 2010 05:23 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] melime.livejournal.com
I'm so sorry to hear about both of your recent losses. You're so brave and such a good person to be able to put their well-being first and foremost and to let them go. *hugs*

Date: 12 Mar 2010 08:40 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] beckyc.livejournal.com
Oh no, the empty cage thing is awful :-(

Date: 12 Mar 2010 11:35 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] illusive-shelle.livejournal.com
*coughcough* Show stock is by definition inbred Hon! Your dedication to them warms my heart and I love hearing about their adventures.

Maybe some new warm and fuzzy needs to be found? A Septrin or Caffiene or Panacur or Drontal perhaps?

Date: 12 Mar 2010 15:19 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] red-lasbelin.livejournal.com
I've always associated hamsters with you. And bees. I'm so sorry, putting beloved pets down never gets easier, even when it really is the nice and kind thing to do.

Sorry dear. *hugs*

Date: 12 Mar 2010 20:46 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] enismirdal.livejournal.com
Um, true! I was thinking along the lines that at least show stock is presumably also selected for health when breeding rather than just random "we sexed them wrongly and put the brother and sister together and now we have eleven..." situations. I don't know, but I've read show Syrian hamsters are often naturally over 200g, whilst the heaviest Syrian I've owned peaked at 181g...?

I'll get a new silly-named hamster as soon as I know where I'm living for the next few years. I just don't want to take on a new one now in the knowledge that our tenancy ends in September and I may leave the country then and would have to pass the poor thing on to someone else.

Date: 12 Mar 2010 20:48 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] enismirdal.livejournal.com
*hugs back* Yeah...I'm glad she didn't have to be miserable, but I'll miss her little eccentricities.

Date: 12 Mar 2010 20:49 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] enismirdal.livejournal.com
*hugs back* It's never an easy decision, but yeah, I wouldn't have wanted her to be unhappy.

Date: 12 Mar 2010 20:54 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] enismirdal.livejournal.com
Awww! I'm glad they made an impression! I liked their funny little ways, like how when Quinine was younger she'd take her paws off the edge of the cage doorway when I told her, "Mind your pawses!", so I could shut the door again. I got her just over 2 years ago now...wow. Quite a lot of time for us to have a few adventures!

Date: 12 Mar 2010 20:55 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] enismirdal.livejournal.com
*hugs back*

Date: 12 Mar 2010 20:56 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] enismirdal.livejournal.com
Yeah...and 2 years is enough time to bond quite a lot, I think. It's the first time the house has been hamsterless since we moved in here so it's a bit odd!

Date: 12 Mar 2010 20:56 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] enismirdal.livejournal.com
*hugs you back*

Date: 12 Mar 2010 21:31 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] enismirdal.livejournal.com
It's funny really...I've been on LJ since the end of 2003, got into bees at the end of 2005 and didn't start on hamsters again till late 2007, and yet I associate myself with hamsters and bees too - and right now I don't actually have either! It's so strange not having anything cute and furry to look after...

*hugs back*

Date: 12 Mar 2010 21:32 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] enismirdal.livejournal.com
*hugs back* I just do what I think is best for them, I suppose, and sometimes best is difficult, but at least I know she didn't have to be miserable.

Date: 12 Mar 2010 21:34 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] enismirdal.livejournal.com
Yeah. I'm still trying to get used to it. I was going to donate all the cages to a rodent rescue - some weirdo freak in Wales has let his mice breed out of control (for the second time in 5 years) and they're currently trying to rehome several hundred mice, so rescues all over the country are desperate for cages. Unfortunately the bars are too far apart to be good for undersized, inbred mice. I suppose I need to put them up on Freecycle but it feels so...final!

Date: 12 Mar 2010 21:36 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] enismirdal.livejournal.com
*hugs back* Yeah - even knowing it's the best thing for them, I suppose there's still part of you that imagines a miracle and a few more months/years and you know that taking the decision means you can't have that hope any more. But she was old and sick and went out at a point where she still had interest in life, so that's good anyway. Sorry about your French Lop. Rabbits are also excellent - I had one for 10 years as a kid/teenager and she was fantastic.

Date: 13 Mar 2010 14:21 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] luin77.livejournal.com
It does not matter if someone is big, small, human, fuzzy, furry or has wings. When we care for them and we love them, it is sad when they pass away. I am sending you lots of hugs. And I cross my fingers that you find a great postdoc contract soon, so you can find new hamster friends and be wonderful to them like you have been wonderful to your other hamsters! *hugs*

Date: 16 Mar 2010 03:36 (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
Aww...Eni, I'm so sorry. But you did the right thing, if that helps.

Date: 16 Mar 2010 03:39 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] larianelensar.livejournal.com
That last post (the screened one) was me, I had logged out and forgotten

Date: 16 Mar 2010 09:34 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] enismirdal.livejournal.com
Heee, no problem! Unscreened now!

Date: 16 Mar 2010 09:35 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] enismirdal.livejournal.com
*hugs back* Thank you! I hope so too...I like having small furry things to make happy.

Date: 16 Mar 2010 09:36 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] enismirdal.livejournal.com
It kind of does, yes. I remind myself of this frequently. Obviously, I miss her anyway, but she lived happily and went peacefully, so I guess you can't really ask for more.

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