Eni reports on Troy
15 May 2004 21:36![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
enismirdalThe movie struck me as primarily an excuse to have large numbers of people in small amounts of clothing, and in that respect it succeeded quite well; there was plenty of famous eye-candy and I'm not complaining. It's also a movie designed to make money, and I'm sure it will succeed in doing that too.
However, it is so damned obvious about it. Epic fight scenes, honour-contests, pretty girls with no clothes, pretty boys with no clothes, a million ships sailing across the sea... Yeah. It is the, "You want to watch this, don't you?" type of thing.
I swear Orlando actually should be a girl. He is really eunuch-pretty. I was pleased to see that he does have facial expressions, although in this movie he seems to have a below-average number. He also gets some painfully daft lines. I can only conclude that either a) we're meant to laugh our asses of at him, and he can act, or b) we were meant to take him seriously and he really can't act at all.
And yes, sorry guys, but I did let out an awed gasp when he nekkid and oiled torso came into view. It was...aesthetically pleasing in a hot way ;)
I don't find Brad Pitt attractive. But he has got a nice body when it's not got any clothes on it.
Helen (no idea what actress that was...) is extremely pretty, but I wouldn't call her worthy of having a war over.
Hector was cool. He and his wife were very sweet.
Achilles is, was, and always will be a dick.
Loyalty to the Illiad - well,![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
naath seems to be far better informed than me, and she says low, so I trust her.
Loyalty to Greek History - ditto
Eyecatching factor - high
Clichéd line factor - through the roof. They even got in, "In this life or the next.."
Gayness - off the scale
Slashability - Odysseus/Achilles, Paris/Hector, Hector/Achilles, Achilles/Paris just because, Achilles/that cousin with the unpronouncable name, and I personally would like to see Helen/Hector's wife. There will be lots of slash about this, because the Greeks were so touchy-feely it's untrue, but most of it will be abysmal because most people (including me) don't know a damn thing about Ancient Greek culture and will therefore write totally ludicrous stuff. However, a few talented writers will pull it off, and I shall begin a search for my preferred pairings shortly...
I enjoyed it, if only because it was so funny and there were pretty things in it.
Very 'I wanna be a blockbuster'. If you like giant epics, it's a lot of fun.
If you like meaningful adaptations of age-old Greek literature....hmmmmmm :S
I've had a headache since lunchtime. Oddly enough, cinemas do not help headaches.
I took ibuprofen (which crazy person decided to sugar-coat ibuprofen tablets? - don't they realise that's an idea which carries a seriously high risk of getting me addicted to ibuprofen?) and am now going to bed for an hour or so while the analgesic effect kicks in.
Scab somehow came off little finger. Still seems dry. Altogether, am considering finger much improved.
However, it is so damned obvious about it. Epic fight scenes, honour-contests, pretty girls with no clothes, pretty boys with no clothes, a million ships sailing across the sea... Yeah. It is the, "You want to watch this, don't you?" type of thing.
I swear Orlando actually should be a girl. He is really eunuch-pretty. I was pleased to see that he does have facial expressions, although in this movie he seems to have a below-average number. He also gets some painfully daft lines. I can only conclude that either a) we're meant to laugh our asses of at him, and he can act, or b) we were meant to take him seriously and he really can't act at all.
And yes, sorry guys, but I did let out an awed gasp when he nekkid and oiled torso came into view. It was...aesthetically pleasing in a hot way ;)
I don't find Brad Pitt attractive. But he has got a nice body when it's not got any clothes on it.
Helen (no idea what actress that was...) is extremely pretty, but I wouldn't call her worthy of having a war over.
Hector was cool. He and his wife were very sweet.
Achilles is, was, and always will be a dick.
Loyalty to the Illiad - well,
naath seems to be far better informed than me, and she says low, so I trust her.Loyalty to Greek History - ditto
Eyecatching factor - high
Clichéd line factor - through the roof. They even got in, "In this life or the next.."
Gayness - off the scale
Slashability - Odysseus/Achilles, Paris/Hector, Hector/Achilles, Achilles/Paris just because, Achilles/that cousin with the unpronouncable name, and I personally would like to see Helen/Hector's wife. There will be lots of slash about this, because the Greeks were so touchy-feely it's untrue, but most of it will be abysmal because most people (including me) don't know a damn thing about Ancient Greek culture and will therefore write totally ludicrous stuff. However, a few talented writers will pull it off, and I shall begin a search for my preferred pairings shortly...
I enjoyed it, if only because it was so funny and there were pretty things in it.
Very 'I wanna be a blockbuster'. If you like giant epics, it's a lot of fun.
If you like meaningful adaptations of age-old Greek literature....hmmmmmm :S
I've had a headache since lunchtime. Oddly enough, cinemas do not help headaches.
I took ibuprofen (which crazy person decided to sugar-coat ibuprofen tablets? - don't they realise that's an idea which carries a seriously high risk of getting me addicted to ibuprofen?) and am now going to bed for an hour or so while the analgesic effect kicks in.
Scab somehow came off little finger. Still seems dry. Altogether, am considering finger much improved.
